I've Decided to Leave My Husband

So I’ve decided to leave my husband.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to divorce him. That would be insane. I’m just not going to live in the same house as him.

I’ve also decided not to tell him. He knows why. I mean, look around. Hellooooo? Surely, he can figure out for himself why I’m leaving. He’s smart. He’ll get there.

Nothing will change. Except I won’t live there. I won’t raise our kids there. I won’t serve him there. I won’t cook his meals, clean the laundry, do the dishes, none of it. We’ll still be married. Just things will look different for a while. Excuse me, for a season. It sounds better with that word.

I might come back. I might not.

I’ve actually gotten used to not living with him. It’s way less mess. And no drama. Can’t fight if you’re not in the same room! And technology is so amazing that I can drop in and see what’s going on or help with problems via the cameras in our house. It’s awesome. It’s like I’m there, but I’m not.

Did you see how insane that sounds?

Pretty crazy, right? Who does that? Who just ups and leaves a loving relationship with no explanation, no warning?

Give it a minute. You’ll get there.

There we go!

We do!

Believers! I’m talking to YOU!

MANY of you have made the choice to not come back to church. Now, hold back your response to that statement. I know where you’re going. Hear me out. There are some good reasons we’ll talk about in a sec, but we need to be real.

You have decided to no longer attend church, to no longer serve, to no longer gather with believers, to no longer worship and sit under instruction, and you have not told your heavenly Father this plan.

What you’ve done is exactly what I described up above.

The great things about our plans is they’re usually wrong.

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” - Proverbs 16:9

“Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” - Proverbs 15:22

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” - Proverbs 19:21

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.” - Isaiah 55:8

Here’s the deal.

I’m not going to say if your concerns are valid or not. I’m not going to judge your current life/health status right now. There are a lot of good reasons to be cautious right now. But the reality is that many of us who are taking a break probably don’t actually have one of those good reasons. All I’m saying is you should probably tell the Lord what you’re doing.

Yes, He knows. He’s the Creator. He’s all-seeing and all-knowing. I seriously doubt CoVid has escaped his eye. But we need Him to talk to us and tell us what to do.

We really, really, really stink at making our own good plans. We’re not wise enough. Solomon was the wisest of the wise and he made a mess of Israel. His super bad decisions caused the divide of the two kingdoms! And he was supposed to be the smartest that ever was!

You should also talk to God about what’s going on at least daily.

Cam has HNA. It’s a really fun nerve disease that tries to kill off his arms and now his vocal cords. It’s been great.

Now, this disease began to start making moves way back in May. Cam brought it up to me in May. Guess when’s the last time we talked about it? Yesterday.

He didn’t just bring it up in May, tell me what we’re doing, then we left it at that. NO! We talk (now) at least weekly about what’s going on, how he’s feeling, how’s the pain, how are you on your drugs, etc. This is an ongoing conversation!

AND SO SHOULD YOUR PLANS!

If you have chosen to step down from attending church due to CoVid, this is a daily conversation you need to be having with the Lord. Because, once again, on your own, you make terrible decisions. On my own, Imake terrible decisions.

They seem smart. They seem wise. But ultimately, on your own, your decisions lead to destruction.

At the beginning of this post I laid out a kind of intense example. You may have deduced that I don’t actually plan on leaving my husband. But here’s the thing: it’s really not that extreme of an analogy.

The Bible is pretty clear that we are the bride of Christ (Ephesians 5, 2 Corinthians 11:2-3). The Bible also tells us that we should not forsake gathering together (Hebrews 10:25).

When we place other things as more important than our walk with Christ and our responsibility to the church, it’s idolatry. And as the bride of Christ, at best it’s a little fling, and at worst, it’s adultery leading to separation. It doesn’t matter if it’s comfort or sleep or sports or entertainment—it’s just as severe as the idea of leaving your spouse.

Because God loves you. And He wants to spend time with you. And He wants you to want to spend time with Him.

So, believer don’t leave Him. Please pray about your decision to no longer attend church during this time.

I don’t know what the Lord will tell you, but I know you don’t know the right answer without talking to Him either. It’s better for your relationship with Him if you do.