Social Media Distancing

So I’ve mentioned before about how I don’t use a lot of social media anymore. I’ve loosened up just a bit. I’m spending more time on Instagram since I wrote that article, but it’s calculated. You see, Instagram can be awesome because I don’t have to see what people think or get swept into debates or any of that mess. For me, it’s a place for artistry, inspiration, and possibly even learning something new.

Maybe someday I’ll write a post on how I’m being productive with Instagram, because I’m fantastic at justifying things. But today is not that day, and this is not that post.

I am, much like everyone else, talking about Coronavirus.

Well, not specifically COVID-19, but about this whole quarantine and social distancing mess we’re in. I’m answering the question no one is asking:

What does social distancing look like without social media?

Here’s my answer: honestly, I kind of love it.

Now, I’ll confess again, I’ve been on social media more during this time than any other, but we’re still talking 10 minutes a week on Facebook and mostly to check in on something related to the church. Either way, it’s way better than 10 minutes an hour.

Think that’s an exaggeration? 10 minutes every hour is probably generous during this time. (One user posted that they’d spent about 23 minutes every hour on their phone) We’re just bored. We’ve watched every episode of Tiger King and burned all the new excited recipes we’ve been itching to try. What’s left? Well, social media.

I’m trying to hold strong. I’ll admit, my Instagram is still well worn, but I’m trying to connect in different ways.

I’ll still hold fast to the notion that social media (while a great tool to connect with people) has negatives which outweigh the positives. For one, they design the platforms with every intention to keep you hooked.

The developers spend hours in front of whiteboards analyzing psychology and addiction to create a product that leaves you hooked and keeps you scrolling. Is it quite that nefarious? I hope not. But the fact remains that they design the platforms at the smallest detail to keep you on, because ad money. Make no mistake, it’s all about ad money.

I’m unwilling to lean into the addiction.

“You’re an introvert,” you say. “It’s easy for you.” And that’s simply not true. According to this article almost half of the population are introverts. (PS, go read that article, it’s a great way to understand us!)

We need people, and we love people. So how am I getting my social fix?

I’m FaceTiming more than ever. I’m on Zoom and on Skype more than ever. I’ve found a need to interact with faces and with people. I’ve discovered a hunger for genuine connections with people, not something fueled primarily by the endorphin high of positive reactions and affirmation that is literally the foundation of social media.

Don’t bristle up in defense at me, you know I’m dropping truth bombs.

Behind every social media post that you can write off as a fun social engagement moment is a touch of the need for attention or affirmation. Please know that I’m not being as cynical as that sounds. It’s just how we’re wired as people.

Even with the purest intent, we want something out of it for us. Don’t believe me? Take that post that you’re thinking is the exception and now imagine it received 0 interactions. Kinda hurts, right? Now, you might try to justify it with something like, “I just thought it would be fun and help people, but I’m bummed that it didn’t.” There might be an element of truth there, but I think if you’re really honest with yourself, you know the primary motivation is affirmation.

And that’s not the worst thing ever. We need affirmation as humans because we need motivation, and affirmation is motivating. Especially if your love language is affirmation. I’ll I’m asking is that we not deceive ourselves about the motive here.

Trust me, I know. I’ve been posting encouraging Scripture over on the AFV Instagram and on a level, I’m doing it to encourage and lift people up, but I’ll absolutely tell you that I’m bummed when it doesn’t get as many likes as I wanted. That’s just the thing of it.

But instead of looking to “social” media for my social fix, I’ve looked to people.

If you’ve spent much time around me, you know I don’t love FaceTiming. If you FaceTime me without warning, you will probably open your phone to this face:

My only contribution our Marco Polo group

But I find myself actually kind of liking it now. Because genuine interactions matter.

So this week I’ve FaceTimed, Skyped, or had Zoom hangouts with friends literally all over the globe (east coast, West coast, Canada, Spain) and none of it requires scrolling endlessly through the time-well of social media.

Even though it’s called social distancing, remember that it’s really just physical distancing, because now we’re learning to connect in more ways than ever before. Just remember to make the connections real.

The constant temptation during a time like this is to sit on the couch and scroll. But I’d encourage you to drop the scroll and connect with faces. You’ll be better for it.