What Story Does Your Pain Tell?

In an early draft of this post, the opening line was something like, “Does your pain tell a story?” but it never sat right with me. That’s because all pain tells a story.

So what story does your pain tell?

Disability and Chronic Pain Are Stories

What is a story?

I love author Ted Dekker’s definition of a story: “A story is a series of events experienced by worthy characters who are changed or transformed by those events.”

Story innately involves conflict and struggle, but it also necessarily involves transformation and growth. If you’ve ever experienced chronic illness, chronic pain, or disability of any kind, you know that conflict and struggle are an inseparable part of the process. That’s a given.

Is there a transformation as part of the process? I can vouch for that and say yes, absolutely. In fact, there are so many stages of transformation, it’s hard to wrap the mind around.

I talk to people all the time who aren’t sure if they have a story to tell. Even people who struggle with the kinds of things we’ve been talking about on the blog will admit they’re not sure what story, if any they have.

But look at Dekker’s definition of story once more—a series of events that lead to transformation.

Illness and ailments are a transforming event in and of themselves. Surely you won’t need that much convincing, right?

What Type of Story Are You Telling?

So you have a story.

What is it? What is the moral of your story? What is the message? Where does it lead?

My story with disease is a roller coaster that started a long time ago and we’re somewhere in the middle. It involves a very problematic protagonist (me) that you’ll sometimes root for and sometimes root against. There are ups and there are downs and there are downright dark moments that I try to avoid remembering at all.

But it’s my story.

And as I’ve begun to pursue the Lord with more tenacity and persistence than ever before, I can finally see where it’s pointing.

It’s taken a long time to get here. And I’m certainly not “there” yet. But I’m working on it.

As my pain and disability transformed me (assisted by the transformational effects of certain medications) the type of story I was telling was all over the map. At many points, it wasn’t a type of story that would be helpful to be told.

Praise God that His work is never finished!

It wasn’t until the Lord really began to shift my perspective away from myself and toward something much, much bigger that I started to see how the events of my life were shaping a more beautiful narrative than I could have ever imagined.

I began to realize that the type of transformation you experience dictates the type of story you will tell.

What is Your Transformation Story?

“A story is a series of events experienced by worthy characters who are changed or transformed by those events.” - Ted Dekker

As human beings, we are all born innately selfish. As a father of two toddlers, I can confirm this is the case.

We want things to be about us. We go out of our way to make them about us.

As the events in our life string together this transformational narrative, we can respond in one of two ways: we look for ways to continue to make it about us, or we can focus our perspective elsewhere.

If we choose the former, it takes us to a dark place.

When we choose ourselves, it opens the door for self pity. We can’t help but wonder why something is happening to us. It’s not bad to think that, necessarily. We all do. But depending on what answer we land on or how long we stay in that cycle will determine what our mental and emotional health looks like in the long run.

It’s also easy to act out in unhealthy ways when we focus on ourselves. We begin to think we deserve better treatment, and if we don’t receive it, we may go looking for it elsewhere.

What type of story does that tell? Certainly not one anyone would be interested in reading, if it ends there.

But there’s another transformation that can lead to a much better story. A new perspective.

We can look to Christ.

A Story of God’s Goodness

In John 9, we see a story of healing. Now, from the outset I will tell you that our stories won’t all end in physical healing. And that can be okay.

Healed or no, our stories transform and therefore they are valuable.

In this particular case, Jesus meets a man who was born blind. His disciples, confused as they often were (who can blame them?) asked why the man was born blind. What sin caused this? Who is to blame?

Do you know what Jesus said? His answer is absolutely mind-blowing.

“It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

Woah.

This man’s story, his pain, his disability was entirely to point people to Jesus. And that’s exactly what happened. If you read on, the man who was healed cannot be stopped from telling people about Jesus. He even boldly preaches the Gospel (and rightly teaches) to the Rabbis and Jewish leaders who are questioning him on pain of punishment. In fact, one of his responses is the very inspiration for perhaps the most famous of all hymns, Amazing Grace, “I once was blind, but now I see.”

Now, we are all in different places in our transformational journey. We may be waiting for our story to end before we figure out what to do with it.

But here’s the thing: you don’t have to be healed to tell a story of healing.

Your story is powerful no matter where you are on the timeline.

But remember, the type of story you tell depends on the type of transformation you experience.

The blind man experienced a complete transformation right down to his soul. He believed Jesus. He trusted Jesus. And when Jesus healed him, he couldn’t stop talking about Jesus.

What does your story look like? Are you in a place where you can’t stop talking about Jesus and what He’s done (or is doing) in you?

Write Your Story

I would encourage you to write your story. Even in a journal for your own reading. It’s important to know what story you’re telling with your life. Where does it point? What is the message of your life’s story?

Unsure of where to start? Here are a few ideas:

• What are the events in your life that have led to change? List them with as much detail as you can.

• What changes or transformation happened as a result of those events? Write them down, good or bad. We often learn more from failures and mistakes than successes.

• Does your story include Jesus? If not, what can you do to make sure the next page of your story features Him?

  There’s one final, bold step: I would love to know your story. If you’re comfortable sharing, leave a comment and tell me your story of transformation, wherever you are in the narrative.

  What story does your pain tell?